


Villain's training ground

by SylvanFaustGo



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akumatized characters, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth-centric, Gen, Humor, It's hard to be Gabriel Agreste, It's hard to be a villain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:55:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27027706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SylvanFaustGo/pseuds/SylvanFaustGo
Summary: Who says that it’s easy to become a villain? Do you think that all you need to do is just catch a purple-black butterfly and that's all? Well, you're so wrong!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Villain's training ground

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Злодейский полигон](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/701062) by Sad Mary Black. 



> Thanks to Sad Mary Black who allowed me to translate this work!  
> Also, big thanks too Khanofallorcs for beta-readed this work!

Who says that it’s easy to become a villain? Do you think that all you need to do is just catch a purple-black butterfly and that's all? Well, I’m forced to disappoint you. Being a villain is a difficult art! Every “newbie” who passes “emotion-control” joins the army of “unqualified something”. If you don’t understand it yet, catching an akuma is just the first step. I can even say that Hawk Moth can’t accept you as a villain if you have health issues. Really, who needs an asthma attack mid-battle and possible death because of it?

People who pass selection are going to the inter-temporal spatial “something” . Or you could say that they’re going to their villainous training ground. Do you really think that every villain can start jumping high, shooting straight and running fast right after akumatizing? Do you really think that their pretentious speeches come right after they thought about it? You’re so naive then. Let me show you some episodes of what happened on the training ground. 

***

“What are you doing?! I said ‘north wind’! Do you really not know where’s north and where’s south? Look: here - the north,” Hawk Moth pointed to the left, “and there - the south!” he pointed to the right. “Is it hard to remember this?!” The villain shouted frantically.

“I just can’t do it!” Stormy Weather whined. “Why can't I blow them with a wind? Why do I need to know if it is north or south? Who cares?”

“Just think about it! If heroes would attack you from north-side facing the natural wind you can just blow them right into the ocean! That’s all! Heroes are praying for help because they can’t swim out and you can just take their Miraculous as a tribute!”

“... I still can’t understand why I should know about it. I’ll blow where the air mass goes and I’ll be fine…” the newbie villain resisted.

Hawk Moth thought about it… And let her go. If she was such a “ I don’t know and I don’t want to” type of people, then fine! Then she was just useless and he’d prove it! 

Wait, did he actually want to see heroes win? Whoops…

***

“Alright, Bubbler, please, just remember this. No words like ‘man’, ‘ya got a deal’, ‘bro’ e.t.c. In your villain’s speech there should be pathos and some cliches and they need to take a lot of place! It’s the main part of it!”

“Ya got a deal, man! Listen, man, I want to throw a party for my dude and make sure that there ‘ll be dudette’s too, ya know…” … yes, Bubbler had missed all of his advice. 

But really, did you expect something else? That speech was going to be so fruity and so pretentious, and Nino didn’t like stuff like that.

Hawk Moth facepalmed.

***

“What is it? _I asked you_ : what is it?! Hold your back straight, your steps should be light and definitely not like ‘I’m an elephant who jumps rope’!” Hawk Moth was outraging. 

Just… was she really a member of the young generation? She was young, she was beautiful and she really didn’t know how to walk in heels! Gabriel was grateful that he had experience teaching models this stuff. A few times it had been a total disaster when he found out that the model couldn’t walk in heels! 

Who thought that those lessons would still be useful years later? And it was even sadder that Juleka didn’t remember about his catwalk in heels…

***

Well, the hardest thing was teaching newbie-still-not-villains to shoot straight. It took hours, maybe even weeks or years (but nobody knew how much time exactly because the training ground had its own timeline and world system). Every time Hawk Moth started new training he was sure that all his puppets were blind in at least one eye. Lady Wi-Fi hit the target with her pause symbol only from seven meters. And only after tenth try. And it was a record! … maybe he was wrong when he decided to take off her glasses. Yeah, it was a very big mistake. 

Mr. Pigeon also was a tough cookie. No, he was very accurate with his pigeons but there was another problem. This villain always got distracted from training because he was talking with his “friends” literally about everything! About the weather, about their lives, about families e.t.c. Hawk Moth even started to sympathize with the poor man. He didn’t get enough communication with other people which led him to communicate with pigeons who truly understood him. Such a poor man.

***

Rogercop… This guy had tried to arrest him seven times during his training! And after each try Hawk Moth needed to brainwash the guy and then to start over all his training again. Sadly, it worked only four times and then he needed to bribe him with doughnuts. And Rogercop ate a lot even if he was a half-robot. 

_Agreste_ ’s budget dropped very solidly after this guy.

***

Mlle. Lavillant was not an easy target either. The future Princess Fragrance didn’t want to harm people in any way. If he used ‘villain’ when he referenced her she immediately started to cry and then went into a very deep depression so instead of this Hawk Moth used “Kind Fairy who helps monsieur Hawk Moth and who brings love and good”. Instead of “take away Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculouses” he used “ask those very cute kids to lend their nice jewelry to bring back his love and family”. 

After her loss Gabriel scared Nathalie with his soft words and gentle phrases for a straight week.

***

You know, they were only the first villains. Do you want to know why I mentioned only them there? After those episodes Gabriel became wiser and more picky about possible candidates ~~(It’s not because author is lazy, not at all)~~.

But he kept recruiting Mr. Pigeon. Really, this poor man needed a place where he could actually have a conversation and where he could talk with his friends.

After all, Hawk Moth is not a very bad guy…

**Author's Note:**

> Also you can join to Miraculous Fanworks Discord server where you can find a lot of stuff and interesting people!


End file.
